Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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