In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize