He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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