OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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