when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
