Welp...herpes.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
