Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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