are you so shy because you have an std?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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