I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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