does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
why does every cop we meet know your name?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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