I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
