So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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