let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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