When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
