Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
