I think i peed on brittanys purse
only you would photoshop your dick
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
