3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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