In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize