just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
