I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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