I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
