After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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