The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i believe in u and ur pee
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
