lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
