he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize