I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize