I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
