vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
