How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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