I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
