I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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