All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
