i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
