Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
