you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
