No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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