Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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