I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize