Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
