Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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