You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Houston, we have a blender
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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