Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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