Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My cat gives me a boner
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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