I need help removing her.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
