Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
