Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
