38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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