I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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