im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
