Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
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i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
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I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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