she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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