Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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