Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
