how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
