i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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