Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
