wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
