I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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