YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
