Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
