i think my tv is drunk
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
