so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize