its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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