would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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