jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
