i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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