yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
