I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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