Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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