The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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