That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
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Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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